do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
