I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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