I want to stick my p in your. b.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
