I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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