If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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