win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
