"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
