If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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