at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize