Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize