I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
You are the jesus of drinking
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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