hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
