just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize