Buhtt sex?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
