i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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