We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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