I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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