I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
