The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we're so committed to being not committed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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