it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
