i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize