Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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