ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
