I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
