Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Dear god my vagina.
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