i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
