I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
