he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
