Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
