i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
