I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
