Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
