we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
