We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
