She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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