Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize