I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
