I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
