I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
