I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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