Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
the day after is always just damage control
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
