I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
