just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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