They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
