I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
