i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
