Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
