My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize