Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
