3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
