I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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