You really coming over, don't trick.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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