You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
