i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
