Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
