I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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