It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
