I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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