Joe is yelling at the trees again.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
