Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
