gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Randomize
