his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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