You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
