Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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