All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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