Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
my being single is dangerous.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
