Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
